Seasalter Beach house


The reason I have been mulling this question over is because just as I have become more comfortable with sharing from where I am at, that is sharing from a space of vulnerability, I’ve noticed a new emerging trend which is somewhat rejecting this concept.

And it has forced me to consider if (and how) we should share from a place of vulnerability?

The emerging trend I am noticing seems to be a commitment and intention to NOT share – as it occurs – but to pause and take stock until after the event, and after the lessons have been learnt. To be more private. To share less every day, and more looking back.

And actually I can see the appeal. And the merits.

It feels clean and tidy. And mature and aspirational.

It was what I desired actually. What I hoped for when I held the dream of starting my blog.

But, it was also the very thing which held me back.

The very thing which stopped me sharing my writing and publicly using my voice.

The dream perpetuated the fear. Because, let’s be honest, there is always fear in showing vulnerability.

To be quite frank my life and health situation means I am very much ‘in it’. Fully and completely very single day. There is no break. There is no neat opportunity available to me if I wait longer. I would have ideally loved to have immersed in healing, to have recovered (or had a real sense of this occurring), and then – from this space over on the other side – to have succinctly gathered my thoughts and publicly wrote the back story.

To do the work and then share the magic.

Because we must do the work, and perhaps this is why the resistance (to sharing in the moment) has built up, because turning our attention outwards can potentially distract us from being internal. It can prevent us being our own mentors and doing what we need to do.

Certainly, it is about being incredible mindful of this in our decision. About being very considered and measured about what we share and where we share it – agreed. But I believe that it’s important to not entirely close down the beauty of being kindred spirits holding hands as we tred the path….

Because the holding hands is exactly what is needed sometimes. It is the act which keeps us upright.

And the comfort comes from relating to the protagonist in the story.

You see, I did the work, but I did not cross the bridge. I do the work and I have not (yet) crossed the bridge.

I had a choice to stay private in my attempts, or to share and offer up my open palm.

In other words to be brave and vulnerable enough to open (and invite) from where I was at. To document my emotions and experiences along the way. The beautiful, painful and exquisite details I perhaps would not even consider or notice were I not committed to sharing the moment.

For to wait, when there is no foreseeable timeframe is to deny it all. To lose it all. The very things which may need sharing the most in order to help others and make a difference. The journey is where it is at. And to never share the journey could be to never be the change one wishes to see in the world, and maybe to never find one’s own purpose too.

Because I have discovered that connection and communication (and following the crumbs) leads you places. Leads you to your soul work.

So, if (as always) I can see both sides, does the answer (to the original question) depend upon individual circumstances?

If you can afford the luxury (to wait and compose) do you take it, so to speak?

And yet I am not fully comfortable with that proposal either…. because can there really be one rule for one and one for another? Of course there must be individual adaptations but still there has to be a base foundation to believe in surely. I can’t be changing my mind depending on where I am at. I have to decide what feels right and why. Always.

And thus I explore…

And thus this is why I write….

This is why I delve into the mess as it happens….. because this is life. This is my life.

This is my opportunity to take.

The conclusion I have therefore reached is one of ‘middle ground’. A loose framework where intuition leads the way, and doing what feels right for you at the point you are at in life. Yet, I do tentatively and respectfully put out the notion that there should perhaps be some caution within the declarations of waiting it out; but also that as readers and followers we must be strong enough to pause, and walk away from the crowd, and emerging trends, if need be too.

In doing so we may find we become the unintentional (but possibly destined) leader….

I won’t lie. If my circumstances had not led me to this place I would have never been so open in sharing as I go. And knowing this, a part of me does feel that there is an element therefore of it being the safer option. I am not judging, I am just exploring….

My heart keenly feels that something valuable would be lost if we ALL waited….

I am almost glad I have been forced past this block. Forced to a place where my consideration comes from such a deep and murkier place. Maybe it will open up important conversations previously unconsidered? Regardless, I am glad I have built up the courage to decipher and unravel my opinions and to discuss them – with you – here.

Ultimately I had no choice but to begin from where I was at.

To begin at vulnerability.

And truth.

And I am so very mindful that so many people in different circumstances sit at this precipice.

I am anxious that they need encouragement, and not hesitation, to accept where they are at and to gently begin.

Because they do not have the luxury of waiting it out as some do.

Sometimes life is messy and it stays messy. It is my experience sharing this reality – and working it through step by bay step – which lifts the veil. And that I know is worthwhile.

Just as indeed the wrap-up posts are.

One can offer a mixture of both. Or read a mixture of both.

And that’s the beauty of the online world.

All I suggest is let’s not albeit unintentionally discourage an opportunity to begin, and let’s remember that what works for one person may not work for another. For I do understand the intention to lose the chaos, and present the photo album flick-backs rather than the live screen shots. I really do, and I love to read these posts myself.  I guess that I am just aware that we need to be careful too, to not shut people down and scare them into frigidity.

Although, having said all the above, I do not think a creator/writer has to be, nor should be, responsible for anyone else. The responsibility is ours alone. And my own role – within this respectful and interesting discussion – is to simply offer my thoughts and a differing viewpoint arising from living a different kind of life.

Isn’t it wonderful that  a conversation can elaborate so much further?

This is why we write and share and speak …. to carry it forward and take it further – to find a solution which fits our own tribe.

For this is the soul work. This is my work.

Had I not been somewhat been forced to share from this space of vulnerability I doubt I would ever have gotten comfortable with it. I would have always had a public cloak on to some extent, and the ‘personal me’ would have conflicted just a little too much with the ‘public me’ – largely because of my health circumstances.

It’s all or nothing sometimes. Whether you wish it to be different or not.

It is what it is. You are where you are.

And from here you make your choice.

From here you decide if you have value to offer the world….

One thing I would say though is that there should always be a framework and boundaries within your public offerings. The intention and vibration you desire to omit must be honoured, for then your work is in alignment with who you are. There must be a respect for privacy and holding back too. My friends and family (and diary) will always know a whole lot more of me than you, my beloved reader. And that’s the way it should be. For me anyway as a very private person.

No-one ever wants to read a car crash.

There is always a line.

But it is very much okay to share as-you-go I have decided.

It is as valuable – if not more so – than the long awaited and carefully crafted summary.

It is art-in-progress.

Do you agree? As ever I would love your thoughts around this conversation? Are you holding back and waiting? Or did you? What promoted your first step and are you able to be vulnerable in your sharing? Lets me know in the comments. For me, starting my blog was the best thing I did even though it wasn’t how I envisioned it…. And I am so grateful to have a visible online presence and outlet.

Share this post if you liked it. Thanks xx

10 comments on “Should we share from the space of vulnerability?”

  1. Beautifully written post Carls about something that (as you know) I ponder a lot myself too.

    As you are aware of, I put off even starting my blog for many years as I was waiting until I reached that place of full recovery so I could look back and share from a place of having ‘got there’. But I’m glad I took the leap and started whilst still very much in the thick of it.

    As you said, from this space, we share things that we may well forget details of once we are at the other side. There is a beauty and preciousness to that.

    However, as authentic as I always like my posts and writings to be, there are also times I need to step back. Such as in recent weeks when things emotionally have gotten tough as well as physically… there is nothing worse than writing a piece then feeling a little better and regretting sharing such dark feelings with everyone! Often when I write posts that feel a little too vulnerable, I sit on it a few days before pressing publish. This way I’m sharing from a grounded place rather than in the peak of emotions.

    I think sharing the light and the dark is such an important thing, especially in a world that these days is so full of filters and images of perfection.

    The reality is, All recovery stories or healing journeys had to walk the path. It’s just that we are writing AS we walk it rather than after.

    All we ever have is now. This moment. Right now. By sharing from this space, we are creating a voice for those in the thick of it as well as ourselves and also creating posts that maybe, give people the sense that they aren’t alone.

    Em xx

    I think your conclusion of finding a ‘middle ground’ is exactly where I currently sit with this too.

    • Thanks Em darling, I agree with all you’ve said. Its about starting where we are at but finding a balance. And sometimes pausing. But ultimately there is beauty to be written about along the journey as you say.

      So glad you started your biog. I remember the hesitation. And my own. And how glad are we both that we did it. The best decision ever! Plus it led us to best friendship and more. xx

  2. I have been pondering this too. I’ve always been someone who was very comfortable being wide open and I love hearing people’s stories. To me it is all so fascinating. I’ve noticed recently that some people don’t see it the same way as I do and they may misunderstand the expression. I’m not sure what to do with that and how much to share in a public setting. They may see it as oversharing. I see it as connection and growth and exploration. Not sure where I’ll land with this but happy for the exploration!

  3. Just the perspective I need right now. You know when you come across a blog post or article that just fits into your life perfectly? This post was that for me. Thank you 🙂

  4. Both you and Emma are kindred spirits and I commend both of you, for your depth of character, your endless kindness, and your insights.
    Sending you love and light who has been travelling this well-worn path of ours for 24 years and like Emma with very very good times, bed and housebound times and dips and risings.

    Many thanks for your heartfelt, sincere words Carly. xxxxx

    • Hi Susan, Thank you so much. Yes, Emma are I are total kindred spirits I agree. So blessed to have found her.

      I wish you love and light too. xx

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